Sarah (sam_09) wrote,

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just got done doing my daily aerobics....i feel so much better..for me excercise is essential...i may not be outta shape, but it helps me not feel so stiff and just's one part of my life i guess that i can personal fitness........although everything else in my life is outta control..i'm stuggling with a friendship gone sour and i don;t know what to think of it anymore. I';m not even sure if there was a friendship to begin with now that i think about it...was it all a facod to keep my feelings from being hurt? Have i been strung along for two+years, or was it a true and real thing?? I'm struggling with these questions inside...all i ever wanted was to be dealt with honestly. But the person that i'm talking about...thinks i did things that i didn't do...And has totally replaced me...found a new friend..and it hurts me..cuts deep. I don't deal with being hurt very well. People though they can't be totally one can replace anyone truly. Distrust is a dangerous thing to have...having trust issues all the time with people you claim to have faith in isn't good. I've never been untrusted by anyone until i met you. And it's all you..your struggling with this's no one else's fault. But i've been lied to repeatedly and that i don;t trust..i've probably been lied to for the whole 2-3 years i've known him. Lack of communication leads to lack of trust and lack of trust leads to no friendship. I'm sorry a few people out there have the wrong impression of me too...but your wrong. And another thing that bothers me is i talk about this shit with my boss and she does nothing about it thinks it's gonna work itself out but it's not gonna...she don;t understand...i have one option because my other option is never gonna happen because so and so is 21 going on 15 and will never deal with anything like an adult...pathetic! enough said gonna shower in mud and rinse away the stains left from the shit i've had to deal with. bye
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